Putting Myself Out There: Five Sex Goals for 2018

I’m crap at mapping out goals for myself. I also don’t like to make resolutions. What if I don’t follow through? My brain will then proceed to tell me what a failure I am.

So why the hell am I writing this post? Because 2018 is the year when I’m going to turn over a new leaf. Even if I don’t accomplish any of these goals, I’m not going to beat myself up about it. And hey, maybe putting that statement out on the Internet will make me stick to that promise.

Attend Woodhull in August

I have been following a lot of awesome sex bloggers for a while now. And every year, a bunch of them congregate at the Woodhull Sexual Freedom Summit, a conference about sexual freedom, gender, and human rights (like the tagline says). I’ve read the Twitter feeds, I’ve read the blog posts wrapping up the conference. This year, some how, some way, I’m going to go. I think it’s important to add another disabled voice to the conversation. I want to meet these amazing people whose words I’ve been devouring.

Also, it just looks like a lot of fun!

Get Better at Dating

I am so bbad at dating. I never send the first message on dating apps, even if I think the person is super cute. For a long time, I’ve claimed it’s because I’m shy. I’m beginning to realize that shyness is only the tip of the iceberg.

I think I harbor a lot of internalized ableism. I have actually had the thought, “What’s the point of sending this person a message? No one wants to deal with my blindness.” And I know that’s not necessarily true. Sure, people are scared of people with disabilities. Most people have never met a blind person before, or if they have, it was someone who was gradually losing their site, or an older family member. I’ve been blind for almost my entire life. I live alone. I get around independently. Sure, I might have to spend some time proving my capabilities to potential partners, and that can be frustrating.

But that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t try. And if they don’t want to get to know me solely because I’m blind? Fuck ’em, as my mom would say.

Date more Women/Femmes/Nonbinary Folx

I identify as pansexual. However, all of my relationships and most of my sexual experiences have been with cis men. I want to change that this year. I don’t really have much more to say about this goal, but I’m gonna make it happen somehow.

Explore my Kinks More Thoroughly

I know I’m into impact play. I know I’m into contrasting sensations, bondage, and topping from the bottom. I want to find a partner who’s somewhat more experienced than me, someone who will help me explore and gently take me out of my comfort zone. My local kink scene leaves much to be desired, so this goal might be harder to accomplish. But I’m going to give it a whack. (Yes, I did just make that awful pun.)

Acquire some Girthier Toys

Currently, the largest toy I own is the Tantus Cush O2, which clocks in at a diameter of 1.75 inches. And it feels really good. I want to explore my size queen side this year (with proper warm-up, of course).

I think that’s enough to be getting on with. Even if I don’t accomplish any of these goals, I am definitely going to make a concerted effort to work on all of them.

What about you? Do you have any sex goals for 2018?

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